English is hard

It’s a wonder any child learns the English language. I don’t remember learning it and all its idiosyncrasies, but I’m quickly finding out how difficult of a language it really is.

Both Adam and Zach are learning to read and spell. And they like to rhyme words. So we’ve had lots of conversations that start like this…"how do you spell…?" and "cat rhymes with hat." We like to change the first consonant to make a rhyming word. It’s fun.

Pig, wig.
Dog, hog.
Tap, lap.
Now, snow.
To, so.

WAIT. What?

How come "now" and "snow" don’t rhyme, but "now" and "plow" do? Well, surely "to" and "so" rhyme…um, not so much. But "shoe" rhymes with "to" and "toe" rhymes with "so." What’s that about?

So what’s the deal with "seen" and "been"? "Been" actually rhymes with "hen" which only has one "e." "Seen" rhymes with "bean" but one is "ee" and one is "ea." So if "ea" makes the "ee" sound, how do you pronounce "lead" and "head"?

Enough about rhyming…let’s move on to the sounds letters make, or don’t make. Most common are the silent "e" at the end of a word, and silent "k" at the beginning of a word. And why does "ph" make the same sound as "f"? And don’t get me started on "c" and "k." Can’t we just pick one, "c" OR "k"? They can work solo, but put them at the end of the word, and you’ve got a team. Zach likes to say he has a silent "k" on the end of his name. So the "c" gets all the credit for making the sound. But "c" can also take the job of "s" in certain situations, like "dice" or "city." I know there’s a rule about "c" sounding like an "s" if it comes before an "i" or "y" or something, but I’ve long forgotten the exact rule.

So what’s a five or six year old to think? Can we make it any more difficult to learn the language? I guess we all learned it, so it must not have been impossible.